GAY is better than being BI.....Story of an Indian Bisexual Guy

Hi Friends
I'm 37 year old Indian guy, some of you might be younger to me and some older or equal my age but you are reading this blog depicts your interest in the God's unique creation being GAY or BI.
All these 37 years have been so challenging and hard to survive for me, may it be my childhood, my teenage or my present I have suffered the abuse for something that I wasn't responsible for.
My childhood from where I remember was full of sexual acts with friends, neighbors and cousins but all were females which proved that I was NOT A BORN GAY. I was caught playing on bed with my cousin Sis, which was just a childhood game but involved fondling and biting, I was surprised and confused why my mom scolded me and punished me for just playing with my cousin. School friends were just behaving sexually with me some would kiss me, some would press my penis and laugh while I cried like a timid boy.
I grew up as a confused little boy who started to hide behind sexual emotions, avoided making friends with a fear they would press my weenie and it would pain throughout the class, this once again proved that I was NOT A BORN GAY.
The first Encounter
I was eight when I first encountered a hard thing that I was sitting on and was just not aware of the situation. It was summer vacation time and we played the whole day in an under construction house next door which was vacant and the construction work was stopped for two months due to heat. we often played hide and seek game which was my favourite, I was wearing shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt that day and my friends commented that I was looking very sexy and chikna (smoothy). The game started with few of us and then later two boys Rahul and Ashwani, who were about 17 or 18 year old joined us, during the play I was searching a place to hide and suddenly I saw Rahul hiding inside a small area under the stairs, he saw me searching for a place and  asked me to hide with him but there was hardly any place for me to sit so he made me sit on his lap, like an obedient boy I sat on his lap, I was trying to figure out if someone is coming to catch us out, but Rahul was enjoying me sitting on his Crotch, suddenly Ashwani who was the den saw us from a distance and started laughing and commenting to his friend for what he was doing with me and Rahul signaled      him to leave us alone, Ashwani went away and now Rahul was trying to make me sit comfortably I was still not aware of his intentions but suddenly I could feel something hard pressing against my ass, and Rahul was trying to move his hands over my thighs I felt bit uncomfortable and tried to move away he pulled me back with a jerk and again made me sit on his crotch I tried my best to move away but he was very strong and well built and I was just a timid boy. I got very scared now that I was in trouble, now Rahul started kissing me from behind and moved his hands more fast over my thighs and inside my t-shirt, I started crying but Rahul put his hand on my mouth and said he will let me go if I hold his Hard thing in my hand for five minutes, saying this he took his penis and was laughing wickedly I said no and with a jerk I freed myself from his hands and ran as fast as I could, all I could hear from behind was "Don't tell anyone otherwise I will beat you badly". I ran back to home and hid under the bed for long time crying and scared of the beating I would get if I  told my mom about it.